The Unfinished
by Meirelle
Summary: A compilation of unfinished Final Fantasy fics ranging from comical to sad to just plain bizarre!
1. The Unfinished

The Unfinished A Compilation of Unfinished Final Fantasy 7 Fics by Meirelle Emeraldeyes  
  
Unfinished fanfiction. Everyone has them, and some of them are really good too. It's quite a shame when none of these get posted because the author gives up on the story. I have an accumulating collection of "The Unfinished," as I like to call them. I figured, since they will probably never ever get completed or updated at all, I might as well at least share them with the outside world.  
  
Each chapter is a different fic, and there is a description of the story at the beginning for your convenience. Some of these unfinished works I am proud of. and some of them I am not, if you know what I mean. O_o;;  
  
If, by a very slim chance, I come around to actually updating one of the fics in this section, I will pull it out and make it an actual story again. But, like I said, there's a very slim chance of that happening.  
  
If someone really likes one or more of the stories and/or the ideas they perceive, and would like to continue writing the fiction in my place, feel free. There's only some tiny rules, though. Please contact me before you do anything. I'd hate to be browsing one day and find one of my fics out there and. well, you know. And second of all, please put some credit towards me in there somewhere. You know? Something like "Meirelle Emeraldeyes wrote the first chapter and I'm continuing with the rest." I'd really enjoy reading it as well. ~_^  
  
Oh, yes! Standard Disclaimer: I don't own it, you jerkfaces!!!! There. Now wasn't that nice?  
  
So. without further delay, I bring you The Unfinished!!! 


	2. Gaea's Cliff

"Gaea's Cliff" by Emerald Eyes  
  
The Scoop: Reno goes on a skiing trip, but he gets more than he bargained for when an unexpected snowstorm leaves him stranded in a remote part of the Great Glacier. ( Nice description huh? Well, I was excited about this one, but it just sat there for a while and it collected uber dust. so. It goes here. It's a shame too, because I like what I've written so far. I just lost interest in it, is all.  
  
Chapter I: Weekend Vacation  
  
TURKS' APARTMENT, KALM 5:01 AM, MIDGAR STANDARD TIME  
  
It had been five months since Meteor had nearly devastated Midgar. The damage that was done was great. Almost everything on the plate was destroyed, but it had held firm, and the slums were, for the most part, undamaged. The millions of Midgar's residents that were taking refuge there were not hindered by Meteor's onslaught. but that didn't mean it wasn't a frightening experience. Reno knew. He had been one of the refugees.  
  
With nowhere else to go, he and his two companions, Rude and Elena, had followed civilians and ShinRa employees alike down into the depths under the plate. They were just as hapless as everyone else, and there was nothing left to do but wait.  
  
Reno had been in the Sector 8 slums at the time, right below the Sector where his old apartment was. The Lifestream and Holy had destroyed Meteor, and Reno had discovered, upon re-entering the plate, that there was no indication that his apartment had even existed.  
  
The ones who had lived on the plate previously had hung their heads dejectedly and had walked away from the devastated city in search of a new place to live. Reno, Rude, and Elena had been among them.  
  
They now rented a cozy little apartment in Kalm. 'Little' was perhaps too much of an overstatement. 'Cramped' would have probably described it better: there were only two bedrooms, so Reno had to sleep on the couch, the living room wasn't very spacious, and the kitchen was practically nonexistent. It wasn't much, but it was someplace they could call 'home.'  
  
Reno stumbled around in the half-light of the room, trying to find the light switch. Outside, the sun had yet to rise, and most of the town was still asleep. The redhead tried to stifle a yawn. If given the choice, he would have slept in until noon, but he had a plane to catch and a vacation to go on.  
  
Yes, vacation was the word. The Turks had been saving up money since the fall of ShinRa became immanent. Being as they were elite professional assassins, their lives put at risk on almost every mission, the Turks' pay was low for the type of job. Somehow Reno had managed to convince his two friends to spend half of it on a weekend trip to the Icicle Inn ski resort.  
  
When he had mentioned the idea of a vacation up north-in the cold-whilst it was the middle of July, Rude had merely looked at him quizzically. Elena, however, cringed visibly at the thought and had asked him a tirade of angry questions. Why there? Don't you know that it's cold up there? Why not Costa del Sol? What's wrong with the beach? It's the middle of summer! People are supposed to go someplace WARM! The best answer he could offer her was, "Yes, it is the middle of summer. It's hot. I don't know about you, but I don't want to go to a place where it's even MORE hot."  
  
He had smiled then, whilst out on the balcony of their 4th floor apartment, clad in cargo shorts and a wife beater and his infamous sunglasses, and said, "I'm going someplace where I don't have to worry if the air conditioning system breaks. Come on, Elena! If you want to go swimming, there's always an indoor pool at the inn. You can PRETEND it's the beach!" She had thrown an empty beer bottle at him then. He had ducked, and it went soaring past his head, eventually landing on the pavement of the street below in the form of crystalline glass shards.  
  
Reno figured they needed convincing, so later on that night, the air conditioning mysteriously failed to work. Elena, even RUDE, had complained about the sweltering heat. He had finally won them over.  
  
A trip was planned, and all three Turks were up until two in the morning the previous night. Rude had already packed his bags ahead of time, unlike Elena and Reno, who waited until the last minute. He had sat at the kitchen table, drinking a beer and watching his two companions fight over trivial things as they prepared for the trip.  
  
Reno noted smugly that Elena DID pack her bathing suit, as well as tanning oil. He had let loose some wry, asshole remark about the whole thing, and had ended up with a black and blue bruise on his forehead from another empty beer bottle.  
  
Despite Reno's lack of sleep, he couldn't help getting up early. He had a new snowboard that was sitting in the closet since last winter, and was practically dying to try it out.  
  
Reno slid a plain white t-shirt over his bare chest. He threw an extra sweatshirt on top of his suitcase, knowing that as soon as he stepped out of the plane at the Icicle Inn, he'd be freezing.  
  
After that, he attempted to eat breakfast and put on a pair of pants at the same time. One hand held a cold, strawberry-flavored poptart up to his mouth while his other hand was placed on a pair of old, beat up jeans. He callously tried to figure out how to get into his favorite pair of jeans without tripping. He finally decided to shove the poptart into his mouth so both hands were free.  
  
Delighted at his ingenious idea, he began slipping the jeans over his boxers while his breakfast was hanging limply from his teeth.  
  
"You never cease to amaze me, Reno."  
  
Caught off guard, he spun around to face the one who had spoken. In his carelessness, he tripped and fell to the floor. With murder in his eyes, he turned his glare on Elena, who could hardly contain her laughter.  
  
^_^_^  
  
Meirelle sez: Git! Go home! It's over! Done! Diminished! 


	3. Ransom for Villains

"Ransom for Villains" a.k.a. 'A Stupid Ultra-Mega Crossover Thingumie' by Emerald Eyes (later known as Meirelle)  
  
The Scoop: The main bad guys from four games get kidnapped (a.k.a.-Magus, Lynx, Sephiroth, Ultimicia) and the good guys realize that their world can't exist/is boring without them so they go on a mission to the real world to rescue them. It's a crossover with Chrono Cross, Final Fantasy 7, Chrono Trigger, and Final Fantasy 8. Sadly, only ff7 and ct/cc made it into the story so far. These were the characters I was planning to have as the "rescue team:" CC: Norris, Glenn, Nikki, Miki, Starky. FF7: Reno, Elena, Vincent, Rufus, Tseng. FF8: Irvine, Selphie, Laguna, Seifer. CT: Ayla, Lucca, Frog. By the way, I own the Big Evil Grin and you will not steal it without my permission.  
  
^_^_^  
  
Emerald Eyes: (comes into the fanfic dressed in a blue Turks uniform and wild half-blonde, half-orange Cloudish looking hair) Stuff in () is actions and/or emotions, stuff in is thoughts. (Looks around nervously) On with the fic!!!  
  
Emerald Eyes leaves the fanfic.  
  
^_^_^  
  
Sephiroth is chilling in his house up at the Northern Crater, reading "101 Ways to Destroy the World Using Magic" by Sorceress Ultimicia, when out of the blue a spotlight shines on him.  
  
Sephiroth: (clearing his throat) Emerald Eyes does not own any of the Final Fantasies, Chrono Trigger, or Chrono Cross. Squaresoft owns them all. (blanks out) Squaresoft owns the WORLD! (uses the Big Evil Grin) AND I AM THE PRESIDENT OF SQUARESOFT! Muahahahahaha!!!!!  
  
Jenova: (bashes Sephy over the head) What did I tell you, boy? NO USING THE EVIL LAUGH! It's very impolite!  
  
Sephiroth: (dejectedly) Yes, Mommy.  
  
He leaves the presence of his 'Mommy' and decides to take the Lifestream to Mideel for a much needed vacation (why Mideel? Because the Lifestream doesn't come to the surface in Costa del Sol, that's why!)  
  
Sephiroth: Hey, at least I don't have to spend money on another mode of transportation  
  
He enters the Lifestream and sees a bunch of aquamarine colored glowing liquidy junk and then that fades into a bizarre, jumbled flashback thingumie like one would see when doped up.  
  
On his way to Mideel, he meets up with another traveler of the Lifestream. The unidentified person is dressed in a black cape, the cowl of the hood pulled down so it was not possible to see his face.  
  
Sephiroth: Hello.  
  
Black-Caped Dude: (sounding a little more than slightly stoned) The.. Great....Sephi.roth...is.near.....He's...call.ing...Whoa.!!!  
  
Sephiroth: GREAT Sephiroth? (cocky) Heh, I know I am.  
  
Black-Caped Dude: N. O. E. S. C. A. P. E.  
  
Sephiroth: What the *&%%^$!? HEY!!! What the hell are you using FF6 quotes for!? I thought you were one of those stupid clone- (Sephiroth sees flying chocobos in his vision when someone knocks him unconscious from behind) Oooooooooooo. flying birdies! (passes out)  
  
^_^_^  
  
Tseng watched as Avalanche waited for Sephiroth to come to the Northern Crater. And he waited..and he waited..and he waited. His fellow Turks had found his bleeding body in the Temple of the Ancients and had used a phoenix down on it (which goes to show that Cloud is stupid when it came to Aeris's death).  
  
He wanted to make sure Sephiroth was gone for good this time. But what was taking the megalomaniac so long?  
  
Suddenly a note fell from the sky and into Tseng's hands. He stared at it curiously for a moment before reading it:  
  
TURK, I HAVE KIDNAPPED THE GREAT GENERAL SEPHIROTH. WITHOUT THE BADGUY THERE IS NO PLOT. HA HA HA. THE OTHER DIMENSION IS UNREACHABLE. LUV YA! SOMEONE  
  
Reno: (from behind Tseng) Hey, what's it say!?  
  
Tseng: Sephiroth's been kidnapped!  
  
Everyone and their Mother: WHAT!?  
  
Elena: (gasp) Oh no!  
  
Rufus: (who had also been revived like Tseng) What are you talking about! This is a good thing!  
  
Tseng: Not really. without Sephiroth there would be no plot, which means..  
  
Reno: (horrified) .which means that we'd all cease to exist!  
  
Tseng: No.. not really. But life would be awfully boring without a villain, baka!  
  
Reno: Oh... so what do we do?  
  
20 minutes later.  
  
Tseng: Here we are: The Portal Place!  
  
Reno, Tseng, Rufus, and Elena are standing in a place with a bunch of portals all around.  
  
Reno: (gulp) I. um. (nervously) . I've been here before. It wasn't a pleasant experience for me.  
  
Elena: (curious) Oh, really? I'd like to hear about it sometime.  
  
Rufus: So which one do we go into?  
  
Tseng shrugged. He obviously has no clue. Now, everyone turns to Reno.  
  
Reno: WHAT???  
  
Tseng: Well, you just said you've been here before! And if it was an unpleasant experience, then it was probably an experience in the OTHER Dimension.  
  
Reno: (sigh) All right. It's that one over there.  
  
He points to a big blue and green swirley one.  
  
Rufus: Well, that does it. Hopefully, we can get Sephiroth and get out of there before anything happens. The place is already starting to freak me out.  
  
^_^_^  
  
Magus is chilling in the Porre Inn drinking a beer. Norris comes over to his table with a beer of his own and sits down next to the man.  
  
Magus: (startled) ...!? Hey-aren't you from Chrono Chross?  
  
Norris: .. .. .. (takes a sip of his beer)  
  
Magus: Don't try to deny it! You're a three-dimensional character!  
  
Norris: Geez. Can't a guy visit his hometown without being ridiculed?  
  
Magus: (blink) . . .  
  
Norris: Don't you get it!? I'm from Porre, but Porre doesn't exist in Chrono Cross! It only exists here-in the land of 2D. (shivers)  
  
Magus: (muses) Whoa! You learn something everyda--!!!!  
  
A mysterious hooded figure pops up out of nowhere, bops Magus over the head, and disappears with the villain just as quickly in a flash of light.  
  
Norris: (sweatdrop) Um. Magus? Where'd you go?  
  
^_^_^  
  
And that's all, folks! Reno's experience at the Portal Place refers to another fic of mine, called "The Obsession." Which reminds me, I also have a sequel to that. and it's an Unfinished as well. 


	4. The Chibi Materia

"The Chibi Materia" by: Meirelle Emeraldeyes  
  
The Scoop: The title is self-explanatory. Rufus, Reno, and Vincent turn into little kids via a missing invention of Hojo's. Yeah. some of you might remember this one. I had it up for a bit, but I know that I'm never going to finish it so.  
  
^_^_^_^  
  
It was late at night. Rufus was sitting in his office finishing up lots and lots of boring paperwork. It had to be done, but there was just so much of it. and he was so tired. His eyelids felt heavier and heavier until he finally gave in and fell asleep at his desk.  
  
When Rufus woke up, he noticed that he was on the floor by his desk. Hey, how'd I get here? he thought.  
  
He rubbed his eyes tiredly and stood up. He was only as tall as the desk he stood by. Hey, what's going on here? Why am I all tiny?  
  
Rufus looked down at his body. His clothes were practically falling off of him. He pulled back the sleeves of his oversized trench coat to reveal tiny hands. He stared at them in disbelief. "Ahhhhh! What happened to me? I'm. I'm a little kid!"  
  
It was then that Rufus heard the door open. He stood on the tips of his toes to see over the vastness of the desk. Oh, no. thought a devastated Rufus as he saw who had entered his office, It's Reno.  
  
"Uh, hey Boss?" the Turk looked around the empty room, trying to find any signs of the President of Shinra.  
  
Rufus was struggling to see over the top of the desk when he lost his balance and fell. He landed on the floor with a loud 'thud'.  
  
Reno immediately looked in the direction of the desk, "Is anyone here?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
Rufus panicked. Ugh, what should I do? I can't let him see me like this! But before he had any time to react, the Turk was already heading in his direction. Crap.  
  
Reno stared down at him ambiguously. "Who are you?"  
  
"Uh. hi, Reno." Rufus frowned. His voice sounded so squeaky!  
  
"Uh, hey kid, how'd you know my name? How'd you get in the Boss's office?" Reno had one of those fake smiles plastered on his face: the one he wore whenever he was trying to be nice.  
  
"Um." I guess I'd better tell him the truth, "I, uh, I. because I am Rufus?"  
  
The Turk laughed at him, "Sure, kid."  
  
"But I am!" Rufus argued. The redhead still looked incredulous so he went on, "Yeah, I can prove it! Look," he said, indicating his clothes, "How did I end up in this suit if I'm not Rufus?"  
  
Reno looked a bit indignant at this point "Kid, it's not nice to lie."  
  
"Reno, you're a Turk! You work with three other Turks: Elena, Tseng and Rude! You and Rude like to get plastered at Tifa's Seventh Heaven every Saturday night! You always tell Elena that she talks too much! Elena has a crush on Tseng!"  
  
"Whoa." said a stunned Reno, "How'd you know all that?"  
  
Rufus gave the Turk a cold stare that only the President of Shinra could give.  
  
Reno studied the boy before him: blonde hair, sapphire eyes. The kid kind of did look like Rufus. "No way. Rufus?" He leaned down to get a closer look at the child. "Is that really you?"  
  
The child nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I was doin' paperwork and I fell asleep. When I woke up I looked like this!"  
  
Reno burst into a fit of laughter.  
  
"Hey!" Rufus shouted, "Shut up, Reno! It's not funny!"  
  
The Turk's laughter subsided enough for him to speak, "Oh man, I can't wait to tell everybody else. Come on, kid. You're coming with me."  
  
"What!?" Rufus paled, "Reno, this is serious! I might be stuck like this forever!"  
  
"Hah, that'll be quite interesting, now wouldn't it?"  
  
Before Rufus had time to protest, he found himself being picked up by Reno and being carried out the door.  
  
"H-Hey! Put me down! I don't wanna go! I could have you fired!"  
  
"Sure you could, Little Rufie. But right now, you're an annoying little brat who's throwing a tantrum. I'm the only one that believes you're actually Rufus Shinra-and that's stretching the truth a little bit."  
  
Rufus abruptly stopped his raving to ask one question, "You don't believe me.?"  
  
"Uh, well."  
  
"YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME! I KNEW IT! I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST YOU! YOU'RE A BIG STUPID JERKFACE! AND DON'T CALL ME 'RUFIE'! THAT'S NOT MY NAME! IT'S RUFUS! I'M DEFINITELY GONNA FIRE YOU NOW!"  
  
People that were passing the two in the halls stopped to stare at Reno. He shrugged at them, and then quickened his pace to avoid as much human contact as possible. "God, shut up, Rufus. You're making a scene," he said in between clenched teeth.  
  
"I DON'T WANNA SHUT UP! I WANT YOU TO PUT ME DOWN! I HATE YOU!" he wailed, tears streaming down his face.  
  
Reno had acquired a rather worried expression on his face, "Rufus, no one's gonna believe your story if you keep on crying like that."  
  
"Huh?" Rufus had abandoned his paroxysm in the blink of an eye, "I was crying?" He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. The sleeve came away wet. Not only do I look like a child, but now I'm acting like one. Oh, god, what's wrong with me?  
  
He returned to his previous crying fit. "Reno, what's wrong with me!? I don't wanna be like this!"  
  
Reno had a very apprehensive expression on his face. Great. I'm hauling this bratty kid down the hall. He's crying. I hate kids! What am I supposed to do!?  
  
^_^_^_^_^_^  
  
After lots of crying and threats from 'Rufus', Reno had finally arrived at the Turks' office in the basement of ShinRa Headquarters. O_o  
  
As soon as he rushed into the office all of the Turks promptly stopped what they were doing to gape at the redhead and the child.  
  
"Yo," Tseng asked, "Who's the kid?"  
  
Reno, who looked to be very irritated, dropped Rufus on the ground rather callously. The blonde stared dumbly at Tseng, Elena, and Rude from where he sat on the floor.  
  
"Aw," Elena started, "He's so cute!"  
  
Rufus smiled slyly and Reno, who had grown quite jealous, pushed him over with his foot. The kid tumbled to the ground, giving Reno the chance to smile.  
  
Elena gasped, "Reno! Don't do that! He's only an innocent little kid! You might hurt him!"  
  
Oh, if you only knew, the redhead thought.  
  
Elena bent down until she was at the same height as Rufus. "What's your name, sweetie?"  
  
The child grinned even wider, "I'm Rufus!" he said confidently.  
  
"Oh," Elena said, "looks like you have the same name as President ShinRa."  
  
"Heh, heh. His name's Rufus," Tseng whispered in Rude's ear, "No wonder Reno's treating him like shit."  
  
"HEY!!!" the kid yelled, "I resent that!"  
  
All of the Turks except Reno stared at the blonde astonishingly.  
  
"." said Rude.  
  
"Huh?" asked Elena.  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" exclaimed Tseng. He was looking expectantly at Reno.  
  
"Uh." the redhead shot a nervous look towards the child.  
  
"I'm Rufus Shinra!" the 'president' interrupted, "and if any of you ever talk about me like that again, you're all fired!"  
  
"Uh, yeah," Reno meekly replied to the rest of the Turks, "That about sums it up."  
  
Elena's eyes grew wide, "Whoa, you mean that's.?"  
  
Reno nodded.  
  
"No it's not, Elena," replied a stoic Tseng, "Don't be so naïve. Reno's just drunk, is all."  
  
"I agree with Tseng," Rude said simply.  
  
"What!?" Rufus screamed, "I swear I'm Rufus Shinra!"  
  
"Yeah," Reno defended, "and I'm not drunk, either!"  
  
Tseng laughed and walked towards the door, "Yeah," he said, "Right. I'm leaving. I'll see you when you're sober again."  
  
He then left. Rude followed him out the door.  
  
Elena stopped to pick up Rufus. "I'm going to find out where you belong," she said, and then left.  
  
"Ahhhhhhh!" Rufus screamed, "Help me!"  
  
Reno considered following, but then discarded the idea. They all think I'm plastered. They won't believe me no matter how hard I try. He smirked, But I'm not drunk.not yet. He took out a bottle of vodka that he had hidden in the desk drawer and took a drink.  
  
It didn't take long for him to be completely plastered and passed out on the floor.  
  
^_^_^_^_^_^_^  
  
"Reno!?"  
  
Huh? Who is that? Why is she screaming my name? I'm trying to sleep!  
  
"RENO!!! Oh my God! Is that you!?"  
  
Reno opened his eyes. Ow. it's bright! Of course it really wasn't bright, he just had a hangover.  
  
Elena stared at him, a panicked expression painted her face. "Oh God, this can't be happening! This can't be happening. This can't be-"  
  
"Elena!" he spat out annoyingly.  
  
She stared at him dumbly, mouth hanging open.  
  
"What?" the redhead asked, quite disturbed by her odd behavior.  
  
The blonde Turk still stared at him, observing him in mute fascination.  
  
It took him forever to figure out why she was acting so strange, but when he finally realized what had happened, he understood why.  
  
Dreading what he would discover, Reno glanced down at himself. His clothes were way too big on him and he was way too tiny. Standing up, he was rather upset to find out that Elena was taller than him. much taller than him!  
  
"No!" the redhead cried out, "Why did this have to happen to me, of all people?"  
  
"So you really weren't lying?" Elena finally spoke. She then paled. "Uh oh, I left Rufus in the daycare center on the 47th floor. He's gonna be soooooo mad!"  
  
Reno looked horrified. "You're not gonna put me in the daycare center, are you?"  
  
"Well," she explained with regret, "I can't just leave you here."  
  
"But I'll be mad too if you leave me in there! No-I'll GO mad if you leave me in that damned Holy-forsaken hellhole!"  
  
Elena acquired a scornful look on her face. "Reno! Watch your mouth!"  
  
"What did I say?" But before Reno could say anything more, she had already scooped him up in her arms and had headed out the door.  
  
^_^_^_^  
  
Tseng was walking down the halls of the 67th floor of the ShinRa building. He was looking for a certain redhead. "Damn," he cursed, "Where IS he?"  
  
He then spotted Elena walking down the same hall in the opposite direction.  
  
"Elena!"  
  
The female Turk halted at hearing her leader's voice. "Tseng?"  
  
"Elena, have you seen Reno?"  
  
"Yeah," the Turk answered curtly.  
  
"Is he sober?"  
  
"Um, I guess so."  
  
"Where's he at?"  
  
"At the daycare center, Sir."  
  
Tseng's eyes went wide. "The daycare center!? What the hell is he doing there?"  
  
Before Elena had the chance to answer that question, a frantic professor in a white lab coat ran out of the Jenova storage area.  
  
"My new experiment is GONE!!!" Hojo yelled dramatically.  
  
"Experiment?" asked an inquisitive Tseng.  
  
"Yes," the professor explained exuberantly, "it's a new type of magic materia. It's called the 'chibi materia.'"  
  
"Er, what the hell is 'chibi materia?'" Tseng asked, quite annoyed at the man for not making any sense.  
  
"I was experimenting with age reversal. After many tests I had finally invented something that could do it: a materia. And that's what the chibi materia does: it reverses the aging process."  
  
Elena and Tseng exchanged nervous glances.  
  
Uh oh, Elena thought.  
  
"But it has been stolen," Hojo continued to rave, "as well as every other materia in the lab!"  
  
"Hmm," Tseng thought, "I wonder who could have stolen it."  
  
"There's only one person I know that loves materia that much," Elena said gravely, "I met her once in Wutai when I was captured by The Don. And her name is Yuffie."  
  
^_^_^_^_^  
  
Rufus stood in the farthest corner of the room, away from all the other kids, and looking petrified. Why am I here? he thought, I hate this place. Kids are annoying. But. I AM a kid. So does that mean I'm annoying too?  
  
While he was contemplating over trivial matters, he didn't notice the indignant redheaded boy being ushered into the room. "Lemme out!" he said, pounding on the door, "I swear I'll go crazy in here!"  
  
"Now, now," said the lady in charge of the daycare center, "settle down. Everything will be all right. Now why won't you tell me your name, little boy?"  
  
"It's Reno," the redheaded youth said with contempt, "and I'm a Turk, mind you. So don't get on my nerves or you'll be sorry."  
  
The boy's threat only brought a smile to the woman's face. "Tee hee! How adorable!" She reached into her purse and brought out a box of chocolate chip cookies. "Would you like a cookie?"  
  
Reno angrily snatched the cookie away from her, glaring at her menacingly. He then stalked away from the amused woman over to an unoccupied spot on the floor to eat his prize.  
  
Rufus, upon hearing the name 'Reno', had been watching the situation assiduously. No way! he thought, That couldn't possibly be who I think it is.  
  
"Reno?" he asked incredulously, "Is that you?"  
  
The redhead looked up. "Rufus!?" he said in between mouthfuls of chocolate chip cookie. Reno looked over the child. His posh white suit was replaced by a black t-shirt with a picture of a happy-looking moogle on it and khakis. Reno would have laughed if it weren't for the irate glare the 'president' was giving him.  
  
"I told you I wasn't making it up!" Rufus punched him in the arm hard.  
  
"Ow!" Reno protested, "I didn't say you were lying, Tseng did!"  
  
Rufus crossed his arms and pouted, thus causing the redhead to laugh this time.  
  
"What's so funny?" the blonde asked.  
  
"Look at you!" he said in between giggles, "Look at the way you're dressed. And look at the expression on your face. It's so FUNNY!!!"  
  
Rufus pouted even more. "Yeah? Well, look at yourself," he argued, "I don't see you wearing your Turks uniform anymore. You're nobody now! Just some stupid six-year old!"  
  
The redhead abruptly stopped laughing. "Rufus, what if we never get back to normal?"  
  
The blonde hung his head, "I don't even want to think about that."  
  
^_^_^_^  
  
The girl watched amusedly from her place in the ventilation system in the ceiling. She laughed as she gazed happily into the glowing green orb in her hand. She had had so much fun with her new purloined materia.  
  
Yuffie smiled. She wasn't done having her fun just yet.  
  
The girl grabbed the materia and her shuriken and headed back out to Tifa's Seventh Heaven.  
  
The fun is just beginning.  
  
^_^_^_^  
  
Reno sat with his back against the wall and his arms looped around his legs. He looked around the room nervously, his gaze always returning longingly to the door.  
  
Rufus was beside him, lying on the carpeted floor with a wool blanket wrapped tightly around him. He had fallen asleep hours ago, or at least it seemed like hours ago. When the redhead looked at the big clock on the wall, he saw that it had only been 20 minutes. To Reno, sense of time seemed to be distorted and warped at the age of six. As he observed the other children playing, he discovered that they lost interest in things very quickly, their short attention spans moving on to something else in a matter of minutes. Reno noted, with a touch of horror, that he seemed to be adopting their bizarre habits.  
  
Reno was growing bored and restless, given the fact that he'd been sitting in the same spot for nearly ten minutes. He started to fidget anxiously as his eyes darted towards the door yet again. The six-year-old Turk looked back at Rufus, who was still curled up in the blanket and-he noticed with amusement-sucking his thumb.  
  
Unable to stand his antsy boredom any longer, he reached over and punched Rufus in the arm.  
  
"Ow!" the four-year-old mumbled as he sat up and looked around the room groggily before finally resting his eyes on Reno, "What was that for?"  
  
"I'm bored," the redhead replied matter-of-factly.  
  
"Well, why'd you have to go and wake me up for!?" the blonde asked indignantly, "I was having a dream where I was actually 23 again, and President, and ordering people like you around. You just had to ruin it, didn't you?"  
  
Reno hung his head in shame. ".sorry."  
  
Rufus was about to reply with a caustic remark when a big kid who looked to be about 8 or 9 years old came up to them, followed by a bunch of other kids. "We wanna know why you guys haven't played with any of us yet!" the boy demanded. Shouts of agreement from within the crowd behind him followed his statement.  
  
"Um." Reno looked over at Rufus for an answer, but the blonde wasn't about to let himself be pushed around by a mere child.  
  
"Who are you?" Rufus asked coolly.  
  
"Me?" the 9-year-old asked pointing to himself, "I'm Louis. I'm the oldest here, and that means I'm in charge!"  
  
Rufus glared contemptuously at the boy. "YOU'RE in charge!?"  
  
"That's right," the child answered smugly, "And that means you have to do what I say!"  
  
The two ShinRa employees looked at each other, Reno raising his eyebrows quizzically, and Rufus with a look of disbelief. Finally Reno turned back to their 'leader' and asked, "And what if we refuse?"  
  
Louis smiled at them even wider and called out to three of the kids behind him. "Rand! Elayne! Mat!"  
  
Instantly, three of the children stepped forward. The first one-Rand, Reno guessed, by the way he reacted when Louis said his name-had an evil glare directed at the two from his cold gray eyes. The girl, Elayne, seemed innocent enough, but instinct told him she was definitely capable of beating him up. And the third, Mat, just grinned at him coolly, anticipating the conflict that was sure to take place.  
  
"Trust me," Louis said ingratiatingly, "You don't want to refuse."  
  
Knowing when to quit, Reno sighed and stepped forward into the custody of Louis's lackeys. Rufus stared at him in shock for a moment before following reluctantly. The group of kids surrounded them and they were led off to the middle of the room.  
  
All the kids stopped and formed a tight circle around the two 'criminals.' Louis pushed his way through the crowd and stood on an upended plastic box that had previously contained Legos.  
  
"Now," the 9-year-old said once the crowd grew silent, "What's your name?"  
  
The redhead gave a start. He wasn't quite expecting that question. "Um. Reno."  
  
Rufus scoffed visibly. "Rufus. Rufus SHINRA!"  
  
Louis's eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed in suspicion. "That's the name of my Da's boss."  
  
Rufus let a pompous smile light up his face before he foolishly confirmed his identity. "I AM your dad's boss!" And as soon as I find out who he is, I'm gonna fire him, he added silently. All of the kids threw perplexed stares in Rufus's direction. He sighed and offered them the explanation they wanted. "I'm your dad's boss," he said simply, "I'm the President of the ShinRa Electric Power Company."  
  
"The President's a grown-up!" Elayne shouted from her spot beside the Lego box, "You're only a kid like us! There's NO WAY you could be that President guy!"  
  
Rufus's smirk left his face in a heartbeat.  
  
"Come on, boss. Just go with it," Reno whispered in the irate blonde's ear. Rufus gave him a puzzled look. "Don't tell me you can't see it?"  
  
"See what?" Rufus asked, even more perplexed than before.  
  
"These kids have their own hierarchy," he said, and flashed a wry grin, "Almost like us, you know? Take a look: that Louis fellow, he's like you- the President. He gives the orders and they follow. Rand, Mat, and Elayne? Those three are like the Turks. They bully people and beat harmless kids up and-"  
  
"All right!" Rufus whispered harshly, "I get the point. I piss 'em off and I get a black eye, right?"  
  
Reno nodded.  
  
^_^_^  
  
Yes. That's it. *sigh* It ends right at a suspenseful moment too. Shucks. Sucks too, cuz I got attached to this particular fic.  
  
Anyhow, when this was up, it got a mighty fine lot of good reviews. I thought I'd share them with you.  
  
Azora 2002-07-29 1 Signed XD Rufus! *snuggles* He sounds so cute! And Reno! Ahh... Anyway, you've managed to turn two extremely sexy men into cute little kids... hahah... And their unhappy about it. I can't believe Elena left them at the day care center! On with the show! Sooooooon.  
  
Vincent 2002-07-21 1 Anonymous Please write more. thank you ^_~  
  
Zidane's Gunblade 2002-07-21 1 Signed Rofl! This is sooo funny. I really like your works. Keep on working!  
  
^KitKat^ 2002-06-12 1 Anonymous Please continue!  
  
Jawz (jawz86@aol.com) 2002-05-25 1 Anonymous 0__0 NEED MORE CHIBI! Mwahahahahahahaahahahahhhha! This is COOL! *snicker* I cant wait to see what happens next!  
  
Queen Vegeta 2002-05-25 1 Signed Emerald...this has to be one of the craziest stories I have EVER read...Congarts! *thumbs up* This is incredibly entertaining! Chibi materia...gawd I love it! Chibi Rufus and Reno!! I want one! I'll take one home...*insert more crazy fangirl babbling*  
  
zage the goth 2002-05-13 1 Signed hey, this is great. when're you gonna update?  
  
AngelbloodShinra 2002-04-26 1 Signed XD Thats classic! Can't wait for the next chapter!  
  
InterfaceLeader 2002-04-24 1 Signed Very cool! I like the idea a lot ^_^ I'll check back~  
  
Ca (Rinoa Toki Moro Lockheart 2002-04-03 1 Signed Oooooooooooooo! You MUST continue! Chibis are positively adoreable!!! Kawaii x 1000000000000000!  
  
Dragyn 2002-04-02 1 Signed Yay! That was cute! Literally. In some point when I was reading... I wanted to reach out and snuggle one of the chibi-baddies.... now if you can stick a chibi-sephiroth in there somewhere... all will be perfect! Taste the rainbow! ~Dragyn "Damn you, Cloud.... some bodyguard YOU turned out to be... #$^%@.... oh uh..... Tee hee!"  
  
I apologize to all those people who were really looking forward to an update on this story. :o( 


	5. The Obsession 2

The Obsession 2  
  
The Scoop: This story is a sequel to one of my fics called "The Obsession." "The Obsession" is majorly messed up, as the ones who've read it would know. I almost didn't post the fic because I was embarrassed by it. Surprisingly enough, though, the people who reviewed thought it was hilarious. It's a popular fic of mine, and when I look back on it, I think "Gee, it wasn't so bad after all!" The sequel, in my opinion, is just as good, and the Moon Buggy joke had me ROFL (I'm being dead serious). But, sad to say, writer's block hit, and the poor fic sat there for over a year without being updated. :::sigh::: Sorry, fans of "The Obsession" fic. I'm sorry I let you down. ;_;  
  
^_^_^  
  
.It was noon on a warm summer day. Emerald Eyes had a day off of work. She was extremely bored. She was thinking REALLY HARD for plotlines. Thinking gave her a migraine, so she decided to STOP THINKING COMPLETELY! When she did she came up with something like this.  
  
"The Obsession 2" by Emerald Eyes  
  
In a cute little neighborhood in the suburbs of a huge city, there was a cozy little house. The clock on the wall in the living room of this humble abode read 12:13 PM. Two people occupied the room. One of the occupants was a dark and mysterious man named Vincent. After learning that Hojo's experiments on him had been reversed, he cut his hair short again, and proceeded to look like he did when he was a Turk (remember? In Emerald's world, weird things like magic and stuff don't exist). The other was an 18 year old girl with a wild hairdo named Emerald. She was wearing a Turks suit for no apparent reason. Vincent was chilling on the couch (like he usually does) reading book 5 to Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series. Emerald was sitting on the easy chair, staring off towards the direction of the kitchen with contempt.  
  
EMERALD EYES: Eddie, are you DONE yet!?  
  
EDGAR FIGARO: (from the kitchen) Yeah, yeah. I'm coming.  
  
EMERALD: Well, hurry it up! I'm getting hungry!  
  
EDGAR: Awright!!!  
  
VINCENT VALENTINE: Please be quiet. I am reading.  
  
EMERALD: (inquisitive) Huh? Vinny! You ALWAYS read! Are you telling me you want me to be quiet ALL THE TIME?  
  
VINCENT: Exactly.  
  
EMERALD: (angrily) I'm not gonna do that!!! I do that in real life! Why do I have to do that in my fics too???  
  
VINCENT: But I'm quiet. There's nothing wrong with being quiet.  
  
EMERALD: (ignores Vincent) EEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
EDGAR: O_o I'm coming! I'm coming!  
  
Edgar comes walking out of the kitchen holding a hotdog. He hands it to Emerald. The look on both of their faces could kill.  
  
EDGAR: There. Are you happy?  
  
EMERALD: (smiles ingratiatingly) Yes, I am. Thank you, Eddie.  
  
EDGAR: (grumbles) .you're welcome.  
  
^_^_^  
  
Meanwhile. at a local McDonald's fast food restaurant.  
  
.one of the guys working the drive-thru window could be heard complaining to himself.  
  
GUY: Stupid job! Stupid people! "Where's my fries?" "Hey! You forgot the extra Coke!" I wish I could just kill them all!!! I've got more dignity than this! I NEVER used to let people push me around. if they did, they'd meet the end of my Masamune!  
  
The guy working the drive-thru took off the baseball cap he had on his head and wiped his brow. Numerous amounts of silver hair that had been under his hat flowed out and down past his shoulders. Yes, my friends, this whining little McDonalds employee just happened to be the "Great" Sephiroth.  
  
THE GREAT GENERAL SEPHIROTH: (realized that his identity was temporarily exposed, and quickly tried to stuff all of his hair back under the hat before anyone saw him) Grrrr. Damn Lifestream! Stupid Planet! (mockingly) "I'm sorry Sephiroth, but you cannot enter the Lifestream just yet. I cannot let you go unpunished for all of the horrible crimes you've committed."  
  
SEPHIROTH: So how am I being punished? Okay, Planet, you send me to this weird place-I have a funny feeling that it might be the OTHER dimension-and you make me work at a stupid fast-food restaurant! I'm powerless here! I don't have my powerful magic, I can't fly, and my eyes don't even glow anymore!!! My eyes! My awesome and totally cool aquamarine mako eyes!!!  
  
A customer drives up to the window and he shuts up, but the glare he gives the person in the car is the same old threatening insane Sephiroth glare.  
  
SEPHIROTH: (with contempt) Welcome to McDonalds. How may I help you?  
  
^_^_^  
  
.Back at Emerald's.  
  
EMERALD: (eats hotdog and turns green) ACK! EDDIE! This tastes horrible!  
  
EDGAR: (meekly) .sorry.  
  
EMERALD: I thought NO ONE would be able to cook as bad as Vinny. but here you are, Eddie, and you're WORSE!  
  
EDGAR: What!? I said I was sorry!  
  
EMERALD: I know. but what are we gonna do now?  
  
VINCENT: Maybe we could all go out for lunch?  
  
EMERALD: (is instantly in a good mood again) Hey! That's a GREAT idea! Come on, everybody! To the Moon Buggy!  
  
All three of them pile into the red buggy with eight wheels that Dio gave Cloud (and Emerald stole from Cloud) and headed off towards the nearest fast food restaurant-which happened to be McDonald's.  
  
^_^_^  
  
Emerald pulls the unusual-looking buggy into the McDonald's parking lot at 90 miles per hour and pulls up next to the speaker.  
  
VOICE: (sounding bored) Welcome to McDonald's. How may I help you?  
  
EMERALD: (to speaker) Yeah! Just a minute! (to Vincent and Edgar) Okay, guys. What do you want?  
  
VINCENT: Um. . .  
  
EDGAR: .fries. fries. fries. Fries. Fries. Fries. FRIES! FRIES! FRIES!  
  
VOICE: (annoyed) Come on, Lady! I haven't got all day!  
  
EMERALD: Um. okay.. I'd like a cheeseburger.. (looks at Edgar) A large order of fries-  
  
EDGAR: Supersized!!!  
  
EMERALD: Um. yeah. supersize the fries. And. (looks at Vincent) .and a vanilla milkshake.  
  
VINCENT: ^_^  
  
VOICE: (monotone) Sure, fine, whatever. Pull up to the next window.  
  
Emerald pulls the car around the bend.  
  
EMERALD: Gee, he sure was rude, wasn't he?  
  
The car gets to the next window.  
  
There's a guy with a baseball cap on his head working the window (the Voice, if you haven't figured it out yet).  
  
GUY: (notices the "Moon Buggy") Hey! Isn't that a 1997 Shin-Ra Makou Buggy? I haven't seen one of those in years!  
  
VINCENT: Yeah, it is! Hey. how'd you know?  
  
EDGAR: Huh? This thing has a name? I thought it was just the "Moon Buggy?"  
  
EMERALD: 0_0  
  
GUY: Um. I mean. That's $3.75.  
  
Emerald hands the guy the money and the guy notices her choice of attire.  
  
GUY: Hey! What's up with the blue suit? You're not a Turk, are you? You look a little young to be a Turk.  
  
VINCENT: 0_0  
  
EDGAR: 0_0  
  
EMERALD: 0_0 .no. I'm not a Turk.  
  
GUY: Oh. That's what I thought. You know, that's the first similarity I've seen between this world and mine. It kinda makes me homesick. (sigh) I was thinking that on one of those rare times the Planet isn't watching me, I'd sneak outta here and start a new life here on Earth. You know what I mean, don't you? I was thinking that I could maybe infiltrate one of those top- secret government facilities and launch about 50 nuclear missiles. Do you think that's enough to destroy the planet? I hope so. If not, then I'll just launch some more. After all, the Earth has enough nuclear bombs to destroy itself 10 times over.  
  
VINCENT. something about him sounds REALLY familiar  
  
GUY: But. I just DON'T KNOW! It won't be the same! There'll be no panache to the whole thing. I won't be able to fly and appear out of thin air anymore. and my stupid eyes don't glow anymore! And it's just not the same without Meteor!  
  
EMERALD: (suspicious) What did you say!?!?  
  
GUY: ~_~``` Um. nothing?  
  
Emerald leans out the car window and pulls the hat off of the guy, exposing his silver hair.  
  
VINCENT, EDGAR, EMERALD: SEPHIROTH!?!?  
  
SEPHIROTH: Noooooo! I've been exposed!  
  
EMERALD: -_- Yes you have.  
  
SEPHIROTH: (suspicious) Hey, how'd you guys even know my name? (looks in the back seat and sees Vincent) Dad!? Damn, this SUCKS! How did you get here anyhow?  
  
VINCENT: It's a long and terrible story, Sephiroth.  
  
EDGAR: (looks inquisitively at Vincent) "Dad?" Vince, he's your SON!?  
  
VINCENT: Well. yeah! He's certainly not Hojo's son. How can a guy as good- looking as Sephiroth have a father as ugly as Hojo? Use your head, Edgar! He had to get those good looks from SOMEWHERE. ^______^  
  
Emerald gets the Big Evil Grin on her face and a crazy glint in her eyes.  
  
EDGAR, VINCENT: Uh-oh.  
  
EMERALD: Oh, Seph-ey?  
  
SEPHIROTH: _ Eh?  
  
EMERALD: Can I have my food now?  
  
SEPHIROTH: ~_~` Uh. sure.  
  
He hands Emerald the bag of food.  
  
EMERALD: Oh, Sephy? There's one more thing.  
  
SEPHIROTH: What's that?  
  
EMERALD: THIS!!! (takes out the ray gun she stole from Starky when she took a trip to the world of Chrono Cross to see Norris)  
  
SEPHIROTH: What the *#^$@$#%^%& does that do?  
  
EMERALD: (fires the ray gun and knocks Sephiroth unconscious) Does that answer your question?  
  
^_^_^  
  
When he awoke it was dark out. He noticed the silhouettes of two people peering covertly out the window. By the voices, he identified one of them as his father, and the other one as. that girl.  
  
At the window:  
  
EMERALD: [amazed] Ooo, damn! I swear to God, he comes home with a different chick every night!  
  
VINCENT: You're telling me! Last night I saw him with two of 'em!  
  
^_^_^  
  
And that's it! Anyhow. at the ending (when you were so rudely interrupted :) I was planning to make Emerald (er. me) and Vinny spy on Edgar, who just happened to be making out with some hot anime chick. You know Eddie, he's always the womanizer! ~_^ 


End file.
